My Plea

You see the empty stares into space
You hear the long winded sighs
So you question my emotional state
I'm fighting my demons but I'll be fine
I know because I'm putting God on my side
I carry the shame around with me like a transparent veil
But I have hope that one day instead I'll be covered by Grace
I'm fighting a loosing battle with myself
It's not your fault they say but I take the blame
That's the reason for the stares, the sighs and the tears at 3AM
What can I do, I'm worried that it'll never stop, that it'll never go away
So instead of dwelling on the voices that say
You know you can leave anyway
They'll miss you at first but they'll be okay
I get down on my knees and pray
I beg and I plead and I throw in some tears for good measure
But I can hardly stop them because the dams already open
I need complete respite from this pain
I'm tired of celebrating small victories but bleeding out at war
This is my plea on paper
I need help from the best teacher and one true healer.