One of those days.....

Today feels like one of those days
Those days that makes you feel like a grain of sand on the beach
Completely worthless
My skin itches to be carved, my mind screams
Nothing happens though, my feelings are a riot
But my body remains calm
like the sea before a storm I think
But that storm never comes
Leaving me feeling numb
Unable to think, impossible to function
Waiting, just waiting
For the chaos to be unleashed from my soul
To wreak havoc, and engulf this pain in flames
But I know I'm waiting in vain
So I lay in the darkness, counting sheep and taking deep breaths
listening to sad music with deep lyrics that make me feel nothing
Because those are the authors feelings, those words reflects their pain
So how can i expect them to to encapsulate my complex myriad of emotions
I don't want to, but I do
I listen in hopes I see flashes of my pain
Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't
I didn't today though, so I'm a little hurt
Smiling now because finally I feel something
I want to laugh, I'm definitely certifiable
A highly functioning sociopath
I don't want for much except for this cycle to stop
Till then I'll wish for something easier
Can today just end?.....