Dreams

I'm startled awake again, the moon high in the sky glows brilliantly, the night silent 

You've snuck into my dreams again, the main character of my greatest desires

You twirled me around and held me against your chest chuckling, I could feel the vibrations running through me

The rhythm of your heart beat mirroring mine, safely ensconced in the strength of your arms 

We laughed and played and existed within our own world, it was magic 

We were magic, your sweet whispers in my ears and us experiencing every moment

I was enthralled by you, your every word and action engraved on the walls of my mind

Your name in black smeared across my heart, you taught me the best way to experience life

Silently observing and soaking up all the color in the world, living between those vivid hues

You were mine, my entire world existing solely within a human

Because of you I lived instead of survived 

And now waking up at 3am, alone, tears running down my face and cold air freezing my extremeties 

My knees pulled up and my back against the headboard grasping an anchor in this storm of emotions

Your face and your laugh running through my mind, your voice guiding me to find calm

You left me behind taking away all the warmth, leaving my life a cold dull grey

You ruined me for the world, I lost myself in you but you're not here, how do I find the missing parts of me? 

I'm tired of seeing you only when i close my eyes and touching you while asleep but don't ever want to stop

I'm scared I might not remember the sound of your voice, I'm frightened that i might forget you 

So I look forward to seeing you every night before I fall asleep

My dreams are where I get to love you without fear and without end