The Talking Cure

The room is as drab as usual, blinds closed and drapes drawn 

Your quiet face calm, gently holding onto a pen, lips pursed and eyes empty, an eerie silence perused the entire space

Merging with the entirely white room, it was like a scene from a movie but my reality 

You wouldn't speak first I knew but I always liked to watch you and gauge how much you'd let me get away with

The ticking of your jaw and slight furrow between your brows showed me your patience had reached its limit

Clearing my throat I looked away from you and started speaking, my voice hoarse from disuse

"At noon i stared out at the milky White skies 

From my perch at the edge of the window I watched an Eagle take flight

Wings spread apart feathers filtering sunlight

It soared above the clouds and looked down at the world with palpable dignity and pride

I watched silently a strange feeling stirring up my mind

What would it feel like to fly?

I felt my heart rate speed up and my eyes fluttered close, I wanted to imagine what freedom feels like

The Eagle landed atop a tall tree nesting in and I craned my neck to see

I wondered what would it like to be unattainable and ever so carefree

To live life without thought and worry, basking in the heart of the earth, thriving in the mundane 

But that couldn't be me, the me who is weighed down by life's forces, collapsing under the force of it all

The me who is fettered to this world, held down by expectations and fear could never soar

I closed the window and let out a breath, out of sight out of mind

But the whispers in my heart continued, egging me on this path of no return 

Could I give it all up, shed my mortal woes and ascend? 

What even is this train of thought? I sighed to myself, I couldn't do it my lack of courage leads to unachievable goals 

My life is mine, all the pain intricately woven into my soul, there is no escape 

Day dreaming of freedom and flight are past times from which I must abstain

Dr. do your job, teach me how to to stay sane"

The room returned to its original state, the only sound your pen scratching on paper, it feels better not to listen to the sound of my own voice

You looked up after a while your eyes boring into mine, I looked away from your intense gaze

Finally you spoke, quietly and coldly with that lilting voice 

"I disagree, fear isn't stopping you from taking flight, but your will to fight and that is strength personified 

I see you as moondust and starburst, an intricate mix of darkness and light

Each side fighting to rule, creating a delicate balance

To you it may seem as though the darkness has won, but keep in mind 

Living in the shadows only makes you more luminous "

Watching you leave I smile a bit, your calming words Washing over me

But then again that's why I chose you, I whisper even though I know you can't hear, till next time....