To a true friend : RIP victor

I heard the news I refused to believe
I made some calls they confirmed it true
The tears were slow in falling
I was in shock I had no idea this was coming
As the tears flowed freely I wondered
I could have been a better friend I pondered
Mocking laughs fill the space
But I couldn't care less I was in a daze
Heart beating loudly I ran out
Memories filling my head remembered how I backed out
I left things go dry between us
To lazy to call to lazy to try to hook up
The curse of a genotype branded his life
Crisis today none tomorrow days full of strife
Tragedy struck 7:30 AM
The life of a fighter sucked out no blame
So many questions unanswered
I'm I better I'm a luckier I'm I smarter
I'm haunted and plagued by the things I should have done
Traumatized and scared now that he's gone